'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
