dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
