My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
