i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
