Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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