I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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