I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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