I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There r osticjed everywhere
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
