The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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