that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize