Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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