dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
