My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
