its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
