I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
