If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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