hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
