I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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