i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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