I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
