Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can't turn off my feet"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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