I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
