stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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