My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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