Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
