It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
