so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
