Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
