I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just had sex on a roof
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
