I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
