i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize