You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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