Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
