i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
sarcasm needs its own font
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
