I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
