sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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