Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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