so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
