We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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