All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We had to coat check the pizza.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
