morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You're like the curious george of whores
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
