my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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