I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
