Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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