CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize