Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You're earring is so big in my mouth
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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