You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
