he puts the penis in happiness.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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