"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
