Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize