Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
