I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize