There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
