I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
