high people should be assigned attendants
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
