come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
being pregnant is like rehab
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
