duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize