i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
