he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
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