Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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