I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
