# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
