11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
