So drunk, too bad you don't want this
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
