Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
