It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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