Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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