I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
This girl is more easily done than said...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
