ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
