I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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